Throughout my career, I’ve encountered some truly ‘interesting’ characters. By interesting, I mean the absolute sh*t of the sh*t bosses. But each encounter has been a lesson, a stepping stone in my journey toward becoming a better leader.

Some of these individuals have held high positions in the public eye and, to the public, appear reliable and trustworthy—practically paragons of virtue. They are also adept actors, managing even to fool their superiors, often the head honcho, with their façade that could even give Nicole Kidman a run for her money with their acting skills. 

Someone hand these pieces of crap an Oscar, please!

Most recently, I attended a seminar on workplace dynamics and was surprised to see a certain ‘someone’ sitting on the stage as an ‘esteemed’ panel member.

Yes, it was no other than the head queen sh*t of all leaders, the one who would verbally abuse her staff and play manipulative games trying to bring down junior staff and anyone she deemed a threat to her undoing, that I, unfortunately, had the not so pleasure of working with. Seeing her sitting on the stage as an ‘esteemed’ panel member was unbelievable.

Now, let’s be fair—not all the leaders I’ve encountered in my career have been bad. While I’ve dealt with some questionable individuals, I’ve also had the privilege of working with and learning from some truly exceptional leaders. 

But, this particular leader stood out for being the absolute scum of the scum because of how they would try to degrade and bring their staff down, creating a toxic work environment and hindering the team’s productivity.

“The bad leader is he who the people despise; the good leader is he who the people praise; the great leader is he who the people say, “We did it ourselves” ― Peter M. Senge

Yet, there they were, sitting on the stage, discussing the importance of ‘psychological safety’ in the workplace. I couldn’t help but smirk as I listened to them talk about a topic they clearly did not practise, like shoving their face right in front of the camera on virtual calls when getting ready to go on a tirade to abuse the staff member on the other side. 

The irony of their chosen topic, given their own behaviour, was not lost on me.

But after working with one too many toxic leaders, here are five lessons I’ve learned that can help you be a good leader.

Whether you’re an existing leader or starting in your career, you too can benefit from these lessons:

1. The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

Toxic leaders often exhibit a significant lack of emotional intelligence, which encompasses critical components such as self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills. 

This deficiency not only hampers their ability to manage their emotions but also negatively impacts their interpersonal relationships, leading to dysfunctional team dynamics. Over time, this can create a toxic work environment marked by low morale, high turnover, and diminished productivity. 

Prioritising and developing emotional intelligence is essential for leaders who foster a positive, inclusive, and productive organisational culture supporting individual and collective success.

2. The Need for Transparent Communication

Toxic leaders frequently engage in poor communication practices, such as withholding information, spreading misinformation, or using communication as a tool for manipulation. This highlights the necessity for transparent, honest, and open communication to build trust and ensure everyone is aligned with the organisation’s goals and values.

3. The Value of Respect and Recognition

Now, this is a big one, so pay close attention. A lack of respect and recognition for employees is one of the most glaring signs of toxic leadership, and it can have far-reaching consequences. 

When leaders fail to acknowledge the efforts and contributions of their team, it not only leads to low morale but also erodes trust and diminishes overall motivation. Over time, employees who feel undervalued and disrespected are more likely to disengage, resulting in decreased productivity, higher absenteeism, and, ultimately, increased turnover. 

It is of utmost importance to treat employees with genuine respect, regularly acknowledge their contributions, and provide timely recognition. 

Doing so helps cultivate a supportive, motivating work environment where people feel valued, appreciated, and inspired to contribute their best efforts.

4. The Role of Ethical Behaviour and Integrity

Toxic leaders often engage in unethical behaviour, such as favouritism, dishonesty, or exploitation. This underscores the importance of maintaining high ethical standards and integrity in leadership. By doing so, we build trust and set a positive example for the entire organisation, reassuring our team and instilling confidence in our leadership.

5. The Impact of Leadership Styles on Organisational Health

Toxic leadership can significantly harm an organisations culture, productivity, and overall health. This highlights the importance of embracing positive leadership styles, such as transformational or authentic leadership. These styles prioritise empowering, inspiring, and developing employees for the organisation’s greater good.

My experiences with toxic leaders have been both eye-opening and invaluable, shaping my understanding of what it truly means to be a good leader. 

While these ‘interesting’ characters have taught me plenty about what not to do, they’ve also reinforced the importance of emotional intelligence, transparency, respect, ethics, and adopting leadership styles that genuinely uplift teams. 

Leadership is not about the title or the stage you’re on but about how you treat and inspire those around you. 

So, if you aim to lead, remember that your legacy will be defined by your impact on others, not the accolades you collect. Be the kind of leader your team deserves—not the one they dread.